Magic Phrase to Stop Annoying Dialogue in Your Head!

I hope you are safe and well as we move into this new season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Spring is here, and I can feel myself opening up like the buds on the eye-popping flowers in my Berkeley neighborhood. I'm feeling nudges inside my soul telling me it’s time to connect with other humans (something I have a very hard time doing during my winter hibernation period—I’m a bear in human clothing!). I can feel my creative juices beginning to thaw… There's no flowing river yet, but a trickle has started and the sound of moving water is a delight to my ears.

How I quiet the battling voices in my head...

I’m excited to share the new—I’ll call it a mantra—that came to me during my introspection time this past winter. My intuition lovingly gave me a phrase as I searched for a way to quiet the battling voices in my head that have annoyed the hell out of me (the true me, my essence, my soul Self) for a very long time!

One voice is the pusher, always wanting me to do more, keep myself in check, be good. It’s not so much a critical voice as it is a nagging authoritarian figure trying to keep me on the straight and narrow. I think it wants/needs a lot of validation as a productive member of society and is a bit panicked by the life path I’ve chosen (has chosen me), which is far from linear!

My pusher says things like, “You gotta catch up on all of our tasks this weekend, and clean out the cupboards, and…” There is always a long to-do list! Or it says, “Tomorrow we won’t do…” whatever it was I did during the day that it wasn’t happy with—like watch a show before bed or stay up too late reading, or feel like I need a glass of wine on a particularly hard day of taking care of my mom. It’s very bossy!

The other voice is my rebel, my wanderer who can’t stand the straight and narrow, my dreamer. It’s my curly, wild, free self who absolutely has to disobey the pusher, no matter what. The pusher says, “Do X.” They rebel says, “Not on your life (or more likely F*** you!), I’m doing Y.” And Y is something that my pusher always deems "unacceptable" or "unproductive."

Frankly, I find these back-and-forth conversations exhausting, especially when I’m trying to create new habits or change old patterns that no longer serve me and my overall wellbeing.

So, here’s the new mantra straight from my intuition, the words I speak to myself whenever I hear the belligerent, arguing children in my head start to go at it…

I accept the consequences of my choices, and employ compassion and honesty to learn and grow from every experience.

I’m still surprised that saying this phrase silently or out loud causes the voices to immediately quiet and a warm feeling of love and compassion for my mere mortal self to come over me. But that’s my experience!

What happens is that I'm able to look at each choice I make, each action, and examine them without judgment. The reminder to be compassionate allows me to honestly look at my choices to see what feels good and what doesn’t, and in doing so, more often than not I'm able to move towards the things that make me feel better in body, mind, and spirit. Not always, of course! And that’s the beauty of using my mantra, because I’m kind to myself when I make choices that don’t make me feel so great. In those situations I'm offered a learning experience on the spot that doesn’t involve my critical voice.

I’d love to hear what you think of my new self-love mantra, and also what you do to stop annoying and unproductive dialogue in your head. Please feel free to hit reply and tell me your thoughts. I’m always on the lookout for new tools to add to my psychic toolbox!

Happy Spring! Or Happy Fall, whichever the case may be :)

All my love,


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